Hilly and Fred's

Hilly, where are you?  I pray you're still with Laura.  I got Cleave out of the clot and we are hiding.  They are all around us.  Cleave doesn't understand, so I've had to...

Oh honey, Stay well.  Keep praying!  God has to hear us someday!

Laura, if you are out there, I got away from Manley!  I need your help!  He brought me back to Seattle, so if you read this, please meet me at the store where we bought that special bottle of wine.  Remember?  It is just North of Seattle and had the walk-in wine cooler.  I will be there Monday.

Please be there! 

I know where Fred is. 

Cleave is missing too!  He escaped from the institution two weeks ago.  I pray he is okay.  Laura says he may have sensed danger and saved himself.  I pray that is true!  I couldn't lose my baby boy!  Oh Cleave, what horrible things have they done to you!  Why did I agree to send you to that place?

 

I have to leave that to God for now.  We need to save Fred.  Cleave would be no safer with us. 

 

It has been so long since I have been able to write!  So much has happened!  Laura has not let me post until now, we needed to get away.  I finally convinced her that my readers might be of help again; you were such a comfort on South Pass Road, and I did see some of you at Brouwer's, outside under the umbrellas.  Thank you!  I'm sorry we didn't come in--Laura had us watch from a hidden location and saw an FBI team waiting by the outdoor theatre across the street.  I suspect there were others as well.  She took pictures of everyone nearby and then we left.  I think that was her plan all along.

 

We are nowhere near Seattle now.  Steve is sensing something again, but since I burned up his body, this must be something else.  We're following it.  I hope it leads us to Fred. 

 

That is all I can say for now.  Bless you all!

 

 

 

 

Today is the day!  I might finally learn more about what has happened to Fred.  We might also be in terrible danger.  I don't care!  Laura wanted to give up on the meeting, but I told her that no matter what happens, I couldn't live with the idea that we had a chance to learn about Fred and missed it.  Besides, I feel safe with my wonderful readers.  Please show up today!   If you are in or near Seattle, come to Brouwer's in Fremont around 4:00 pm.  Wear green so that we and any enemys will know we have supportive witnesses.  Laura says the FBI won't dare arrest us if it will lend creadence to this blog--they'd do anything to have you all believe it's fiction!  Mr. Manley surely won't dare do anything in front of witnesses, even if he is against us.  We haven't seen a syll (that is what we call them now) in weeks, and Laura says that since she absorbed the mother syll of this colony, she doubts the others know where we are.  The thing in Johnnymaze won't want uninfested humans to know more either.  That is the theory anyway.  Pray for us!

I couldn't sleep last night.  There is a little balcony outside our room, so I sat there and thought about Fred.  It is amazing how I remember his smell; I never noticed it when he was here.  I miss the way he laughs, the way he walks, the way he snores lightly and the way stops snoring at my slightest movement.  At least he snored in his body; I don't know now.  Poor Fred!  I miss him so.  Laura has never even met him!  I'm sure he would have come up with a funny nickname for her by now.  He always does that.  He named everyone at work: Jonnymaze, Sissy, Pooting, everyone.  Not Steve though.  That's funny.  I wonder why.  I would ask Steve about it, but I'm still horrified about burning up his body.  He says not to worry about it, that when this is over he wants to...I can't say it!

 

Oh Fred!  We are coming!

Steve came out of Laura last night, all by himself.  He doesn't look much different than he did before we inserted him, just a lot more active. Laura's still as big as a house, and her belly moves.  Steve says that's the Syllabubs she absorbed that are still alive inside her; that's why he came out.  I don't like to think about it.

 

We were able to get more fluid for Steve at a medical supply place, so he's back in his jar.  I irrigated him twice as long as normal, though he said it wasn't necessary; I just thought it was the decent thing to do.  I hope Laura wasn't insulted.

 

After we do something important here in Seattle we are going to go see my darling son Cleave at Whispering Glade.  After Laura told me that she and I had been changed, and that Cleave was being changed as well, I asked her what she meant.  She told me that a horrible alien, something like a syllabub, but in human form, had taken her when she was young and done something to her.  I went pale, and told her my secret, the secret I had never told anyone but Fred, about how a horrible man had taken me out of my yard and into his basement, where he had held me down and cut my leg, and how I awoke back in my yard and told myself that it was a dream, but the cut was there, and the scar still is.  I told her how I had gotten sick right after that, and had gone to the hospital, where I was so feverish and had such terrible dreams, but finally recovered.  There was more that I didn't tell her, about how I can go back to the place of the terrible dreams, and about the terrible strength I have when I do.  I can't talk about it.  I can't believe I am writing about it to you.

 

I called Whispering Glade Saturday night and asked the doctors how Cleave was doing.  They said he was fine.  When I said I might visit they told me it was a bad idea right now, that they would have to forbid it, in fact, because Cleave is in a crucial stage of his treatment.  I have to go to him. 

 

But first we have to try to find out where Fred is.  No more secrets!  We are meeting an FBI friend of Laura's at a pub called Brouwer's in Seattle's Fremont district on Saturday the 19th at 4:00 pm.  I am worried about the meeting.  I know, Mr. Manley might come, and the FBI friend may be a traitor--we have to risk it for Fred.  They already know we are coming, so I am posting it here.  I hate to ask this, but if any of you dear people are in that area, it would be such a hep to know we won't be the only ones there in case this is a government or syllabub trap.  If you can show up, please wear green, so anyone reading this who wishes us ill will know we have friends there.  If it looks too dangerous, we will just drive by and leave town.

 

God bless you all!

It is so wonderful to have a computer again!  I have wanted so much to write here again, to talk to all of you who have cared and even tried to help.  I have to be very careful what I write, but I now know I have you, my friends out there, and I need you.

 

When I read Mr. Manley's comment after my last post, it frightened me terribly.  He knew I had been hospitalized when I was 13, that my Doctor's name had been Young, and that there was a six digit number that always haunted me.  I had not known what is was or why it kept popping into my head.  For many years I feared that it was the date of my death or of some dread event yet to occur in my life.  The memory of that adolescent illness has always terrified me, though I remember almost nothing about it.  I don't want to know what happened.  I don't want to know any more terrible things.  I just want to live with my Fred and forget!

 

I multiplied the number in my head by 12 and dialed the number on a pay phone, just as Mr. Manley said.  My hands shook so much that I kept punching it in wrong and having to start over.  The number was long distance, in Seattle, so I had to put most of my last coins into the phone.  I almost hung up when there was an answer.

 

A man said, "Hello."

 

"Mr. Manley?"

 

"Is this Hillary?"

 

"Yes, it's me.  What are you, Mr. Manley?  How do you know about me and my life?  Please, tell me!  Fred and I need someone to help."

 

"Hillary...um...Hilly, stay calm, I am a friend.  You can trust me.  Didn't I try to warn you about Laura Graham?"

 

"Yes, but how did you know about the number?  Who are you?"

 

"I am a friend, the rest is too difficult to explain right now.  Hilly, I want you to stay where you are.  A car is coming to pick you up." 

 

"What?  When?  How?"

 

"Right now.  It will be there any minute.  It is a black Infiniti.  A woman named Susan is driving it.  She will take care of you until you get here.  If you want, we can call your children, Pat and Doris, when you get here."

 

At the thought of talking to the kids I almost collapsed.  I wanted so bad to have that.  To hear their voices, to go to them, to hold Doris and let Pat carry me through this like Fred would.  Fred.  I can't forget my Fred.

 

"Can you help me get Fred back?" I asked.

 

"Fred is still in the hospital, Hilly.  Laura was using you, leading you to your death.  Trust us.  It is all over now if you trust us."

 

I cried.  A car pulled up.  It was not a black infiniti.

 

It was Laura.

 

The scream was almost out of my mouth.  Laura jumped out.  She looked terribly pregnant now, but her head was back to normal, for the moment.

 

"Please Hilly," she said quickly, "I know I scared you, but look in your heart, I am not like you, but I am your friend!" 

 

There were tears in her eyes.  I paused.

 

"Hilly, think.  I killed the thing that was with Steve's body.  If I had wanted to hurt you, I could have done it at any time.  Isn't that true?"

 

My head almost burst from the fear, hope and confusion.  "But Mr. Manley...the number...a car is coming."

 

"Hilly, there probably is no Mr. Manley.  It's got to be the thing in Johnnymaze.  It wants you.  That is why they got Steve and Fred, to get to you.  Now please, if they are coming, we have to go!  If they get all of us they've won!  If you think the world is frightening now, Hilly, that would make it Hell.  Please get in!"

 

I got in.  Maybe it would be the last thing I would do, but at that moment I needed the old Laura.  It would be better to die with that hope than plunge into another new mystery.  I was running from my past as well as from the coming car.

 

We pulled away and sped down the street.  No one came after us.  I looked at Laura and could only see my old friend and protector.  We drove to a secret location.  She took me to a hotel for the first time in weeks.  She said she had found a lot of money in the house.  That's how she replaced my computer as well.  That made me remember the house and what else may have been there.

 

"Fred!" I cried.  Over the last few days I had been terrified that if he had been there she had swallowed him. 

 

"He was not there, just the syllabub.  That is what we call them, the flying things.  Steve's body was there too, as you know, I'm afraid it will be of no more use to Steve.  You burned it pretty bad with the Taser.

 

I hesitated.  "You said, 'what we call them,' who is we?"  I asked quietly.

 

She smiled gently, "The FBI, Hilly.  I really am an agent--and human, at least I was born human.  I was changed."  She got very serious.  "Much like your son Cleave is being changed..."

 

I froze with terror.

 

"...like you were changed."

Laura is a monster.

 I hate to even think about her, but I have to write it here for your protection.  There are people out there who want to help me.  I heard someone calling for me from South Pass Road Monday night.  You were in a yellow car.  You shouted that you read my blog and wanted to help if I was still around.  Thank you!  I couldn’t risk coming out of my hiding place, but thank you so much!  God will bless you.  It may be that I will need your help again in the coming days.

 I’m writing from an internet café in Bellingham.  My laptop is gone, and if you are reading this, you can keep it Mr. Westergreen, and thank you for posting!  Please destroy the paper with my password.

It’s time to tell you what happened at the house.

 When Laura signaled, I went up to the door and knocked.  My right hand sweated on the taser in my coat pocket  My legs felt so weak that I didn’t know if I could stand, let alone attack someone with the taser.  I almost ran.  Then the door opened.

 Steve Baker’s body was facing me across the open doorway.

 I almost forgot that the real Steve was inside Laura (my God, what did I do to him!).  I was going to call Laura, to tell her it was okay.  Then I saw his eyes, a shark’s eyes, like the ones that had stared out at me from Fred’s possessed body.  The plan was forgotten.  Fear and need and anger filled me and I shouted at Steve’s body.  “WHERE IS FRED?”  I cried, “GIVE ME FRED!”

 The thing wearing Steve’s body attacked me then.  Almost instinctively, I pulled out the taser and jammed it in the things face as I screamed.  Laura had set it for a distance shot, so the contacts flew the few short inches into its face, yards of wire falling between us as I backed up, still screaming.  It fell to its knees, and I kept pulling the trigger, afraid to let go and wanting to hurt it, to get back at something for all of this…this nightmare.  The thing let out a terrible screeching noise and kept staring at me with its horrible eyes.

 Something else appeared in the doorway

 It was horrible.  It was like the flying lumps, but almost man sized.  Yellow fluid dripped off of its pink fleshy surface.  My screams stopped, just dried up in the heat of my horror.  Then I saw Laura and my screams started again.

 She was behind the thing.  I guess she came in through the window like she had said.  At first I was relieved, I needed her, she had always saved me, hadn’t she?  Then something monstrous happened to her face.  It split open and her mouth...oh God...her mouth grew and grew until it was bigger than her head had been.  Her lips and jaw just spread and spread and they attached to the lump and started to suck it in.  It struggled, and moved her head around, so I could see her terrible stretched out eyes, like some horrible cartoon creature's looking at me with their impossible foot-long pupils.  She kept swallowing the fleshy monster, it’s disappearing bulk beginning to expand her head to the limits of the doorway.  She pulled it inside the house little, still swallowing.  That bit of movement unfroze my feet, and I dropped the taser and ran.  I ran down to the car, past it, and into the woods beyond.  I ran until I couldn’t run any more and then hid between two fallen logs.  I was shaking and sobbing.  I waited in dread, thinking that at any moment Laura would come and look at me again, with her horrible, once loved eyes.  But she didn’t.

 I hid for a day and a half.  Thank God it is summer, it was cold enough at night anyway.  When I finally came out of the woods, the car was gone.  I walked the five or six miles back to town, hiding whenever a car went by, and spent some of my last $23.00 on fast food.

Later, I caught a bus to Bellingham, figuring I might be safer in the city.  I want to call Pat and Doris, but what will I tell them?

 I can’t go home.  I still have to find Fred.

We have found it.

 Whatever it is that Steve has been leading us to, it's inside the house on the hill.  We are gong to go in once Laura signals that she and Steve are in place.  This may be my last journal entry, since we have no idea what we will be facing in there.  It doesn’t matter; none of us can go on like this any longer.  I pray that whatever else we find, Fred will be there. 

There is no use being secretive about our location anymore.  We are in a forested area just outside Everson, Washington.  There are farms all around us, but they are separated by wooded hills and creek gullies, so this place is quite isolated.  The house Steve has led us to is behind some evergreens above the road.  A gravel driveway snakes up toward it for about a quarter mile, ending at a small parking area abutting the two-story house.

 Laura and Steve have been gone for about twenty minutes.  I am worried about Laura.  She looks like she is about six months pregnant, so I am afraid to think how large Steve has become inside her.  She has only been carrying Steve in her womb for a few days.  If he keeps growing at this rate, we are going to have to do something drastic, quick.  Her clothes don't fit anymore, so we had to get her a new outfit.  It was loose yesterday, today it looks almost snug.  Amazingly, Laura seems unconcerned by her growth, and sometimes I see her caressing her swollen belly unconsciously, like an expectant mother.  I suppose it must be instinct, but somehow it frightens me.

 Steve talks to her all the time now, though I can’t hear him.  She has told him he has to stop growing so fast, but he says he can’t.  He also told her that his death is in this place, so she may not have to worry—at least not about Steve growing. 

 For the last two days we drove constantly, though my credit cards stopped working on Thursday, so we have had to go short on food to keep the gas tank full.  Steve led Laura here almost directly, with very few “cold” turns requiring us to backtrack.  We arrived last night and, after driving by a couple of times, went a few miles down the road before finding a hiding place and spending the night.  This morning we went back to town and bought some food, as well as bullets for Laura’s spare gun, the only one left since the incident at the college.  I charged up my laptop’s battery while we had coffee and shared a breakfast sandwich.

 While we were in the car last night, I finally asked Laura about the disappearance of the dead flying lumps.  She was silent for awhile, and I almost thought I heard a scream in the distance, and I think she heard it too, because she pulled back and shifted around in her seat, but then she turned right back to me and I didn’t hear anything else until she spoke.

 “What do you mean?” she asked.

 “What happened to the dead things?” I repeated.  “When I came to, they were gone.” 

 She paused again, then bent toward me. She seemed angry, and I hardly recognized her.  “Never mind,” she said.  “Just think about tomorrow.”

 I was confused and scared.  I thought of some of the comments left on my web journal that I had thought laughable.  They were no longer funny.

 “Laura, I’m…”

 “NEVER MIND HILLY!”

 I almost got out and ran.  If I can’t trust Laura, what is there? 

 She saw my fear.  She softened.  “Laura, I’m sorry.  I don’t know what happened to them either, I just can’t face another mystery right now.  Please…forgive me?”

 We hugged, and I calmed quite abit.  I am still not satisfied, but she's right--whatever the answer and whatever Laura knows, I just can't face any more.  I have already faced more than any sane person has ever had to face, and soon I will be risking my life against God knows what.  I know in my heart Laura has saved me and is trying to save Fred.  I will place myself in God's hands and Laura's and take what comes.  I hope to find Fred or to find peace.  I almost don't care which anymore.

 Despite getting no sleep last night, I feel as fully awake as I ever have.  Laura should be just about in place.  When I see her wave from the side of the house, I’m going to walk straight up to the front door and knock.  I will say I had an accident down the road and need to use the phone.  If that works, I will go in and observe whatever I can, so that when Laura comes in I can warn her of any danger.  Then, if there is only one person present, I am supposed to hit them with the taser and wait for Laura.  If there is more than one, I wait for Laura to come in the side window and then hit whoever is nearest me with the taser.

 If they aren’t human, I’m supposed to play it by ear.

 That’s all I can write now, I have to go.  If anyone finds this, and I haven’t been able to publish it, my blog is at hillynfred.spaces.live.com.  My password is taped under the laptop.  Please submit it for me.

 Laura is signalling me in now.  I have to go.

(I found this laptop in an abandoned car on South Pass Road.  I don't know what to make of it, but I am posting this as requested. -Mark Westergreen)

Last night I dreamt about the attack at the college. Once again the horrible fleshy mass hit me and covered half of my head, only this time the thing kept spreading.  I tried to scream as it stretched like a horrible second skin over my face and down my neck and chest.  I didn’t know if I would suffocate or die from fright as it filled my nose, mouth, and throat.   Where it went, I was in agony, as my nerves cried out at its unnatural touch.  My arms became pinned helplessly as it spread past my waist, squeezing hard.  My body, desperate for breath, tried to vomit it out as it filled my throat, stomach, lungs.  It crawled around my eyes, preventing even tears.  I begged God for a quick death as it swallowed up my legs and feet.  Even my pores were violated as a million tearing filaments penetrated my skin.  I wanted to surrender, to give up and end, but I was trapped.  My body was failing, but I couldn’t even lose consciousness.  God help me, my immortal spirit, too, was being wound-up in its evil!  I was squeezed from my dying brain, inch by inch, but still no peace came.  I was becoming the foreign thing, the cancer, like my darling Fred, as this monster relentlessly claimed my entire body, spring of my beloved babies and seat of my soul.

Suddenly I was awake.  There was no creature, no pain, not even terror.  But a question filled my head.  Was it something God was trying to tell me through the nightmare?  Or was it a piece of dream clinging to my waking mind?  Either way, it had my attention.

Back at the college, after Laura had freed me and I regained consciousness, where were the lumps that had attacked?  Shouldn’t their bodies have been there still, like the one that Laura had tazed on the car window?  Laura had said I was only out for a minute or two.  Another thought came to me.  When she had run over that first thing, the one that had attacked our car window, she had gotten back out of the car, I assumed to check on it, and I remember her bending over it for a moment.  As we pulled away, I looked back at an oncoming truck, and I don’t think it was there any longer.

   What could she have done with them?  She must be trying to protect me from something, but what?  I’ll find a way to ask her later.  I need to know everything.

 I have to go now; Laura says Steve is talking to her.  I’m worried about them both.

 Laura is growing.

 Or maybe it’s Steve.

It's Sunday, and I haven't been to church in weeks.  Please don't turn from me God.  I need you right now, though I know my faith has been slipping.  I have prayed and prayed, but I seem farther and farther from your grace and protection.  How can you allow the things I've seen?  Or is it the devil that we are fighting?  These things must be his demons, but Fred and Steve weren't possessed, they were dispossessed.  Lead me to strength, dear Lord, so I don't have to get it the other way, the terrible, secret way.

 

I feel worse than I have in days.  I am so depressed, and having to keep moving tires me so.  We drive on and on in silence.  I want to get out and walk around, but the flying things may catch up to us if we stop, so we keep going.

 

I helped Laura insert Steve yesterday, and it was awful.  I knew it would be unpleasant, but it was worse than that, it seemed immoral and wicked and wholely evil.  I felt like I was killing someone.  It was hard, and I don't know if we hurt Steve.  He was silent and almost unmoving from the start.  Laura says it is a good sign that he hasn't come back out, so we can hope.  I can't hope.  I can't think of it.  I am empty and sick.

 

It's raining here.  I'm typing as we go and will post when I find a connection.  My window is rolled down a little, and the wet pavement smells acrid after the days of heat.  The houses that we pass look so normal.  I see people in some of them, enjoying a wet Sunday morning with nothing to do but sit together and read the paper.  Some are holding mugs of coffee or tea.  None are talking.  They're so comfortable together in the lives and homes they've made.  I can see it through the rain and space and glass.  I know it.  When you give yourself to each other, when you get to know them like yourself, when you share the everythings and the nothings, a kind of peace grows around you.  You're still separate, but you are also one.  Like me and Fred.

 

 

Maybe I'd better drive for awhile.

I know you are reading this.  I don’t care.  You won’t find anything here to hurt us, not anymore.  There are others reading, others that want to help.  I am writing for them.

There isn’t much time.  I have to go put Steve inside Laura.

Everything went wrong at the college.  We pulled up around noon, and I was surprised to see everything so quiet, until Laura reminded me that it was summer break.  The campus is smaller than UM, but it still reminded me of visiting Pat and Doris at school in Missoula.  Laura told us to stay in the car while she went over to a big “you are here” type map by the front entrance.  When she returned she said she had located the biology labs and that was where we were headed.

The biology building was two buildings in from the parking lot.  Laura wanted to park close enough to the buildings for a quick escape, but far enough to be less noticeable.  We parked about a dozen cars in.  I was frightened of being caught—by anyone or anything.  Stealing was bad enough, but the thing on the window was proof that there were worse things out there than an arrest record.  Things that know where we are, according to Steve.  Laura told me to act like I belonged there, that no one would question a middle-aged white woman who looked like she knew where she was going.  I took a deep breath and got out with Laura. 

We had made it to the first building when she remembered to go back and crack a window for Steve.  He was pretty quiet now and even with the possibility of his odor drawing attention, we didn’t dare leave him in a stifling car.  She came back and we made it to the lab building without any problems.  She told me to stay calm and do as we had planned.  I smiled at her and said, “Of course, Laura.  I’ll make you proud.”  But I was shaking.

 She went in first, to open any locked doors and distract or detain anyone who might interfere.  I counted to thirty, as instructed, and then went in.  I stopped immediately.

Four men had guns pointed at Laura.  Her hands were in the air and she had a sick look on her face.  As I they saw me, one gun swung over to me, and the man behind it shouted, “FBI!  Let me see your hands!”

 My hands rose as my heart sank.  The FBI is an arm of the government, and the government wants me and Fred dead.  To them we are just symptoms of a strange disease, and they will be cured at any cost.

They searched us and took our guns.  They also got Laura’s taser.  They handcuffed us, and the cuffs were so tight that my wrists still hurt.  They led us outside, and two went to get their car.  We stood there waiting and Laura wouldn’t look at me, she was so upset.  My dread was growing too.  It almost became overwhelming.  I should have recognized that feeling from the car and plane.

 The red lumps flew in fast. I saw one engulf the head of the agent near Laura before one hit me as well.  It knocked me off my feet, and half my face was covered before I hit the ground.  It stunned me, and knocked out my wind.  It was over my eyes and nose, but my mouth was free, so I would be able to breathe once my wind returned.  It was terrifying, I could feel it squeezing my skull and straining to flow up my nostrils and ears.  It hurt terribly.  I struggled until I passed out.

 I awoke with my hands clawing at my freed head.  Laura was shaking me.  I hugged her and she held me for a moment.  I realized she had been crying too.  She pulled me up and said we had to go.

 We ran back to the car.  As we pulled out, she drove slowly, saying the other two agents, possibly more, were still out there.  As we went, she told me what had happened. 

 Three of the red fleshy things had flown in from different sides, hitting me and the two agents.  Laura figured the three were meant for Steve, me and her, but had been confused by the extra targets.  She said it was pure luck that she was the one not hit.  Apparently one of the agents panicked and shot the creature on his head with his pulled gun.  The shot had not killed the thing, but it had finished off the agent.  Having had one on my own head, I wondered if that wasn’t his aim. 

 Laura had gone to his prone body and taken his cuff keys.  She released herself with some difficulty and then grabbed a taser and used it to kill the one on my head.  The other agent had his entire face covered, and had stopped moving by then.  The rest I knew.

 We kept driving for some time (though I won’t say how long) and then stopped in a likely hiding place.  I checked on Steve, and he wasn’t moving.  I asked how he was and he just said, “hurry.”  His fluid hardly rippled.  Laura said we would have to think of something else.  Eventually, we fell asleep for awhile.

 A little while ago, Laura woke me up.  She said, “Hilly, I have an idea.  It’s not a pleasant idea, but we have little choice now.”

 What is it?” I asked.

 “One of us is going to have to keep Steve alive in her uterus.”

 I stared at her, then looked down, blushing.

 “It should work,” she said.  “It is the perfect environment, designed by nature to keep bits of human tissue alive.”  She lifted my chin.  “Would you be willing?  You’ve done the mother thing.”

 “But…I’m married to Fred,” I said stupidly.  Then I remembered.  “Besides, I don’t have a uterus anymore.  I had a hysterectomy after Doris was born.”

“Okay,” she said, “It looks like it’s going to be me.  I’m going to need your help Hilly.  I’ll get things ready, but come back to the car when I call.”

  She’s calling now.  I have to go.

They Know where we are.

 

We slept in the car again last night. Laura woke me early, saying it was time to "go operative" again.  I went out to freshen up, and the cool morning breeze made me shiver.  As I was returning, Laura met me and said Steve wasn't good.  He needed fresh fluid.  We had to find a medical supply store, a college biology lab, or a hospital.  There was a college town nearby (I can't say which), so she gave me the map and told me to navigate.

 

Getting back into the car out of the fresh morning air, I could smell Steve right away.  The odor reminded me of old bandages and warm meat.  I expected to be sick, but instead I felt jittery and anxious to start.  I thought of Fred again.  What condition would he be in when we finally found him?  I forced myself to stay in the moment, to focus on action, like Laura.

 

I said, "Let's go, troops." and Laura smiled. 

 

Steve stirred in his jar.  "I can't focus," he said weakly. 

 

"That's alright," said Laura, "Take the morning off.  We're going for supplies."

 

She pulled onto the highway and headed toward town.

 

After about twenty minutes, Steve said, "There is something near us."

 

"What do you mean?"  Laura sounded serious.  She was already looking around as well as she could while driving.

 

"Something is coming," said Steve.  He began to move in his jar, the murky liquid almost splashing over the rim. 

 

I should have tried to comfort him, but suddenly I could feel it too--the dark fist on my heart.  It was like in the plane to Denver, before I lost Fred.  I remembered the flight attendants, how they had felt it too.  I began to look around.  I didn't know what I was looking for, but I knew with a terrible dread that I would find it.

 

Laura kept driving and tried to get Steve to say more, but I didn't hear.  All of my attention was on the sky, searching for what I desperately wanted not to find.  Then I found it.

 

There was something in the air to our right, coming right toward us.  I couldn't make it out, but it was coming fast.  I shouted, "There it is!  It's coming!" and then it was there.

 

It flew around the car, and Laura saw it at last.  "Holy shit!" she cried, "What is that!"  All we could see was a reddish, indistinct lump, about the size of a softball, flying around our car.  It circled a few times, and then slammed into a back side window.  I thought it was going to break the window, and I screamed for the first time in days.  The window held.  The thing stuck to it, pulsing like a glob of flesh. 

 

"Who are you?" I yelled at it. "What do you want?" 

 

It said nothing.

 

"Where is Fred?" I said to it.

 

It just pulsated.

 

Steve spoke again.  "It's telling them where we are."

 

Laura recovered.  "We've got to get it off.  Hilly, get a picture with your camera.  We may need information on it later, but I don't want it coming along.  There's no one around right now, so let's move.

 

I found my camera in the map slot and leaned back to take a picture.  Meanwhile, I heard Laura take a deep breath and open her door.  A few seconds after I took the picture, I heard a gun shot and saw a piece of flesh fly from the thing on the window.  It still clung there, pulsing.  I saw Laura take something from her pocket.  It was the spray she used on Fred's body.  She sprayed until the can was empty, but nothing happened.  She reached into her other pocket and took out something else.  I heard a crackle and saw the smoke rising from the red glob.  The crackle continued and the thing fell off, smoking badly.  Laura bent after it, and I heard more crackling.  Finally, she got up, walked back to her door, got in, started the car, pulled forward, and backed over the thing three times.  Then she pulled forward, got out, looked, got in, and we left.

 

"Keep looking at the sky Hilly," she said, "I'll navigate myself."

 

"Yes Laura," I said.

 

Steve spoke weakly, "It doesn't matter.  We've been found."

 

We drove on in silence. 

I haven't got much time to write today.  We slept in the car, so I didn't get a chance to charge up the battery on my laptop.  Laura says that the government, and maybe others, are monitoring this blog.  I asked if they could tell where I was posting from, even though it's through wifi at a coffee shop.  She just smiled and nodded.  I asked her if I was putting us in danger with this journal and she said It was important that our story be told.  She didn't spell it out, but I think she meant that it was important in case we don't make it.  From now on I won't post until just before we leave a city.

 

Steve isn't doing too well.  When Laura took him from the field office in Denver, she had also grabbed the paper and electronic files on the case, as well as a large bottle of something called "Serum-Free Media."  The bottle is empty now, and Steve's fluid is starting to look a little milky.  I hope he's all right.  It makes me worry even more about Fred.

 

Fred.  I pray to God that he can hold out.  We are trying desperately to locate him.  I don't know what we will find, but I know he must be found soon.  Luckily I have help.  Thank God for Laura Graham!

 

Steve is guiding us.  He senses something out there, something he can't identify.  He says it is like a dark hole in his existence, almost as if there was a direction to death.  He is leading us there.  I think he hopes it is his death.  We drive around and he tells us if we are closer or farther away, like a terrible game of "hotter and colder."  It is agonizingly slow, but he says we are getting nearer.  We don't even know what we will find if we do arrive.  I hope it's Fred.

 

I am changing.  I haven't cried in days now.  Laura is teaching me to shoot and having me make decisions about where and when to stop.  I'm even helping take care of Steve.  Sometimes I find myself smiling, and I feel guilty.  But I'm getting stronger.  I know I am.  But it won't be strong enough.  I can sense it. 

 

I haven't told Laura or Steve, but I know a way to get much stronger.  I know I will need that strength.  I know it, but it frightens me.

I am going to try to catch up with my web diary while we're stopped.  Laura says I can't reveal our location, but I guess its okay to say that I'm in a small cafe near our motel.  She told me to try to eat something while she stayed in the room to feed and irrigate Steve.  It's already been almost an hour, so I haven't got much time.

 

I fainted when I saw and heard Steve in Laura's car.  It was just too horrible.  Then there was a moment, as I was coming to, when I found a place in my mind where I was safe from the terrible events of the past few days. I didn't remember anything, not the tiniest thing.  As the memories pulled at me, I tried to stay there.  I did not want to come back.  It shames me, but I know that in that moment I would have given up Fred, the kids, and everything to stay there.  But I couldn't.  When I came back, I came back screaming.

 

Laura tried to calm me.  She had covered Steve with a handkerchief.  She said I had to be strong for Fred; that we were going to make things better.  I stopped screaming, but when she said she needed to tell me what she knew, I begged her not to.  I just couldn't face any more terrors at that moment.  Laura said okay, that I could rest awhile, but not too long.   I sat shivering against the passenger door, my tear-filled face pressed against the cool window, while Laura drove and drove.

 

Eventually, we stopped at a motel.  She faced me and said, "Hilly, it's time we talk.  I know you are frightened, but this is important."

 

I turned and nodded.  I felt numb all over, but I was able to listen.

 

"Fred has been taken.  You saw that something had control of his body.  I injected the body with something that will keep it safe, keep it at the hospital, but we need to find the real Fred."

 

"But what did this to him?" I asked, "How did he and Steve get like this?" 

 

"I don't know everything yet.  I do know that it started in the ponds at Fred's work.  Steve has also been able to tell me a little about what happened prior and during his extrusion, um, I mean his being forced out of his body.  Somehow, and I know it is hard to believe,  these accroaching parasites get into a body and take over, pushing out the individual as a tumorous excrusion.

 

I felt the tears coming again.  "Steve," I said quietly, "does it hurt badly?"

 

There was silence for awhile as Laura removed the cloth that had covered the jar.  I couldn't believe that horrible lump was a man.  Like my Fred.  Finally, Steve spoke.

 

"Yes Hilly.  It does hurt.  If it wasn't for the others, I..."

 

Laura shook her head.  "Listen," she said, "We have to be strong--the three of us.  It is up to us."

 

"Why is it up to the three of us?" I asked. "Where is the government? Where are the police?  I don't understand!"

 

Laura frowned.  "The solution they want is not acceptable.  I am afraid we are on our own."

 

"What do you mean?" I asked.

 

Steve spoke again, the fluid in his jar rippling slightly. "The government is scared and they don't want to take any chances.  They want to kill everyone: the bodies, us, our families.  Agent Graham couldn't go along with that.  She took me and ran.  We are on our own."

 

I sat and took it all in.  Laura let me sit there for quite a long time.  As I sat a new fear was growing.  I knew I was not going to be strong enough.  Fred needed me, needed me to fight the government, these strange creatures, and whatever was behind them.  To save him from unspeakable horror, and I was going to fail!  But I knew something else as well.  I looked at Laura.

 

"I'm ready," I said.  "What do we do?" 

 

 

I can't believe it has only been a few days since I last wrote in these pages.  It seems a lifetime ago.  It was. 

 

Where do I begin?  So many things have happened.  I only have a little time left before Laura (Special Agent Graham) gets back.  I have to write this out, to ground myself.  If I don't have these words to read when this is over, I will never believe it was real.  Write, Hilly!

 

After the ORT told me that the thing in Fred's neck had been calling my name, I was so confused.  I knew someting was wrong, but I did not know what.  After I wrote my last entry, I went back into Fred's room with Pat.  I could't tell him what the woman had said, it was too terrible.  I just sat with him and cried.  After awhile he said he needed to stretch his legs and get something to eat.  I told him I would be ok, and he should go.  He kissed me and left.  I haven't seen him since!

 

A few minutes after he left, I dozed off a little.  So much had happened, and I guess I just couldn't keep going.  I must have just closed my eyes when I awoke to find Fred getting out of bed!  I was startled.  The doctors had said not to expect him to be out of bed for days.  I called his name but he ignored me.  I ran over and took his arm.  He looked at me with terrible eyes, and tossed me to the ground. 

 

That is when I knew.  This was not my Fred.  Maybe I had known before, in my heart, but now it was plain.  I screamed.

 

Laura came bursting in then.  She sprayed something in Fred's face, and he clutched his  nose and gave a horrible gurgling sound.  Then he collapsed.  She pulled out a hypodermic needle and injected him with something.  Then she turned to me.

 

I was kneeling where the Fred-like thing had thrown me, unable even to scream.  Laura asked if I was hurt, then helped me up when I shook my head.  She said that that was not really Fred, and I whispered, "I know."

 

Our eyes met, and she seemed to search my soul.  Then she said, "It is going to be alright.  We will help him."

 

Suddenly, I realized.  Panic welled up. 

 

"The thing in his neck!" I said, "That is Fred!"

She nodded slowly, still looking me in the eye, gauging my strength. "Yes," she said.

 

"But how?  Where is he?  What is going on?"

 

"It is something from the chip ponds.  It takes over and extrudes the host..the person.  It is something we have to fight.  But right now, we have to go get Fred.  That is why I came back here."

 

"But where is he?  Is he dead? Can we put him back?"

 

"He has been taken.  I went to the lab to get him, but was too late.  Someone or something wanted him.  I don't know anything else, this is a new development.  But if you want to find him, and have a chance to put him back the way he was, we have to go now."

 

As she said "now" she turned and pulled me toward the door.  I resisted just a moment, then said, "Yes! I'm coming Fred!"

 

We went down the stairs, not waiting for the elevator, and out to her car.  I remembered Pat, but she said we could tell no one, that she didn't know Pat and that there was no time to "clear" him.  I was still confused, but happy to be led--to let someone else find a way in this mad nightmare.  We got in her car and as we pulled out I saw an open jar in the cup-holder near Laura's leg.  There was some liquid in it, and a lump of flesh was floating there.  Laura saw me looking at it and said, "Hilly, I need to tell you..."

 

Before she could finish, it spoke. 

 

"Hilly, I'm so sorry," it said.

 

"Fred!"

 

"No," said Laura, "This is Steve Baker from Fred's work.  He's helping us with this one.  I suspect it was his infested body that infected Fred.  Johnnymaze was taken over as well."

 

I stared at the lump in the fluid.

 

""I am so, so sorry Hilly," it kept saying, "so very sorry."

I pray this is all just a terrible nightmare.  My dear Fred is...I just don't know!  I can't understand any of this.  Please God, I'll do anything to have this all be a dream!

 

Pat is sitting with Fred now, I just can't be in there.  I know he needs me but...I can't.  There is something wrong!  I love Fred very much, but when I am near him now...there is just something terribly, terribly wrong!

 

I'm crying again.  How many tears can one person shed?  I can't keep this up.  I turned to writing because there is nothing else to do.  Pat says it's good to get it out, to put it on the page.  I'll try.

 

They finally let me in to see Fred around noon, before Special Agent Graham arrived.  The doctor didn't look me in the eyes, but said Fred was resting. He said they thought he would be alright, but there was still some danger.  Apparantly there were more tests to run; dear God, how many tests can there be?

 

Fred's eyes were closed as I entered the room, and he seemed to still be unconscious.  There was a big bandage on his neck, with horrible looking stains seeping through.  I asked the nurse if it shouldn't be changed. She looked uncomfortable and said, "soon," then hurried out.  I went over to Fred and put my hand on his arm.  He opened his eyes and looked at me.  It was horrible!  He didn't seem to know me.  Dear God, I didn't know him either!  There was blank alien, almost dangerous look in his eye.  It was just like when they show the eyes of a shark on one of those TV shows.  It frightened me so much that I ran out of the room.

 

Special Agent Graham got here before Pat.  She took me into an office and asked me a lot of questions.  She asked about what happened, and about Fred's work.  She also asked if I had heard what the thing in Fred's neck was saying!  I told her it was just mumbled words, that it had been in his neck and I was screaming; that I didn't know and I never wanted to know.  She asked three more times, like she thought I was lying for some reason.  I asked her why the FBI was concerned with a medical problem.  She said they wanted to make sure that was what it was.  I asked what else it might be and she said that she did not know, and that was why she was investigating.  She asked a few more quesitons about Steve Baker and Johnnymaze, then thanked me and left.

 

When Pat arrived I just let him hold me and I cried and cried.  He was confused about the FBI too, and he demanded to talk to the doctors.  Oh, it was good to have someone take control.  I put my faith in him and God and collapsed for awhile in tears. 

 

There is one more thing that I don't klnow if I can talk about.  It frightens me so!  It is what makes me think  I must be dreaming.  My dear God!  Wake me up now!  I...must keep going, I am as afraid to stop now as to keep writing.

 

About an hour ago a young woman in a blue hospital uniform came up to me and handed me a cup of coffee.  She looked at me very seriously and whispered for me to meet her in the hall outside the waiting room.  I was confused, but I went.  What else could I do?  I went out and she came close and put her hand on my shoulder.  She said she was an operating room technician and had helped with Fred's surgery.  She said she was "totally freaked" but was also mad that the doctors were not telling me everything.  I asked what she meant.  Was Fred going to die?  She looked at me for a long time, and, dear God, I could see the fear and sincerity in her eyes.  I said "please..." and she looked down for a moment then back at my eyes as she moved closer and said quitely, "the thing we took out...it kept calling your name."  She tried to say more, but I pulled away and ran. She called out that she was sorry, but did not follow me.   I didn't tell anyone about her and the horrible thing she said.  But when I think of Fred's eyes....

 

God help me and Fred!

Dear God, what is happening?  I can't believe this is real.  Yesterday was so wonderful, and we went to bed so happy, and now it's all--I just don't KNOW.

 

I awoke at 4:30 and Fred was sitting at the foot of the bed.  It was just like a few nights ago, and again, I assumed he was stuck in his old work routine.  I thought I heard him sobbing or mumbling, just like the morning after the retirement party.  I sat up to comfort him and I realized that what I was hearing was indeed mumbled words...but Fred's lips weren't moving!  In fact, he seemed to be totally asleep!  I sat there next to him, puzzled, when I realized...(I can't think it, but I must--I'm his only hope!) the voice was coming from a giant lump in his neck!  AND IT WAS MOVING! 

 

Of course I screamed, and fred woke up, startled.  I prayed I had been asleep, and the lump was not there, but it was.  Fred tried to say something to me, BUT HE COULDN'T TALK!!!  I screamed some more and the hotel staff came to our door.  They saw my state, and  Fred turning red (so red!), unable to talk.  They got an ambulance and we came here, to the hospital.

 

The doctors say he is alright, but they won't let me see him and they all look frightened themselves.  It seems like they hurry by when they see me.  They say they took something out of his neck.  They wanted to show me pictures and ask questions, and I got too scared and screamed some more.  They called Pat and Doris for me (I can't worry poor Cleave in his condition), and Pat is flying out this morning.  I am so sorry  he has to miss work.  What would I do without the kids!

 

This is all so horrible.  They say they can't tell me more until I have talked to some lady from the government who is coming later this morning.  WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

 

Maybe someone out there can help us.  I am posting the pictures the doctors took.  Please, if you can help us, let me know.  He is such a good man!!!

 

Fred!  I love you!

 

 

I am having such a great time!  Fred seems to be having fun as well, though he was a little quiet this morning; luckily, he perked up after lunch. 

 

Today we saw the big dinosaur museum.  Whew!  I told Fred I was glad those big lizards aren't around anymore, and he said they aren't lizards (they look like big lizards to me!).  The little ones were cute, but Fred said they were just as deadly.  I guess he knows what he's talking about (just wait until we go to the clothing museum!).

 

After lunch we went on a bus tour into the Rockies.  the sights were amazing!  This is sure God's country.  I loved almost everything about it (except when the bus was too close to a cliff!).

 

Dinner tonight is at a little place called Spring.  Fred said it isn't in the Lodo District.  It sounds cute!

 

I love Fred so much.  He is such a dear man.  Yes, everything is wonderful!

Well, Fred's asleep.  He sure liked my surprise, and so did I!  I am so happy.  It's been a great day, a magical night, and I am looking forward to tomorrow more than I have in quite awhile.

 

Fred took me out to this great old restaurant with really unusual food.  At first I found myself a little uneasy about going to this meat restaurant, in fact, I panicked a little as we got out of the cab.  But the customers going in and out looked safe, so I settled down pretty quick. 

 

I was a little squeamish about the animal heads on the walls, but I saw how much Fred liked the historical stuff.  They even had a few old belt buckles for him to admire!  We had rattlesnake (pretty good really--not at all like chicken, no matter what they say) and I had quail while he had elk.  I told him he might want to limit himself to three beers, and he frowned, then smiled--he definately got the message (giggle).

 

We walked back to the hotel in the dark, and I wasn't scared at all!

 

I have promised myself not to be so silly anymore!  NO MORE DARK THOUGHTS HILLY!  From now on it's romance, family, and happily ever after!  The past is the past, and is not the present or the future!  No matter what is out there on the internet.

 

 

We are having such a great time!  We have seen so much!  Now I know why Fred was so anxious to visit.  We saw the home of "The Unsinkable Molly Brown," who survived the Titanic.  We saw a very nice museum about black cowboys.  Fred got a new belt buckle on the Coors tour.  It has been great.

 

I am so glad that my feelings of dread have gone away.  There was only one moment, in the Lodo district, when I thought I saw something that had bothered me on the internet.  It must have been my imagination.  Pretty soon I had forgotten all about it (mostly).

 

Tonight Fred says he has  a surprise for me, and I have one for him! (giggle).  I think we are going to eat somewhere special, where they serve great meat of all kinds.

 

This is the life!

Well we are here at last!  We arrived late last night, and it was too dark to see much.  Fred wanted to go out for awhile, but I told him I was tired after the flight, so we came right to the hotel.  Fred slept well, though I didn't get a wink.  He's in the shower now, anxious to get out and see the sights. 

 

I am still troubled somehow.  All through the flight I couldn't help feeling there was a menacing presence following us through the night sky.  I think the crew felt it too: they kept frowning and staring out beyond the wing.  The feeling followed me here.  There is a soul-numbing chill in this place.

 

Oh, I'm such a silly head!  There is so much to see here, and I am determined to be cheerful for Fred.  He has looked forward to this trip for so long.  I hear him singing in the bathroom now.  I'm so glad he isn't still missing his work.

 

Whoops, there's a knock--roomservice breakfast--what a treat!

We have to be at the airport by 7:00pm tonight, so I'd better get packing.  Fred has been packed for days, and is a little crabby about my last minute rush.  I can't take everything, but what do I leave behind?  I have the shorts that go with all of my pastel tees, and the chinos for evening.  I have the dress for fancy and the fun things I bought for Fred (giggle!).  I guess I will toss in some jeans and call it a trip!  I hope the promonade is not formal.

 

I am still happy that we are going, but if the truth be known, there is a vague unease growing in my heart.  I have been reading some very disturbing things on the internet.  Something that reminds me of a terrible memory from my childhood.  I haven' t mentioned it to Fred yet, and I might not.  I know I'm silly, but it feels like a dark fist is gripping my soul.  It has a name...

 

Enough of that!  Here we go!  It's coing to be the trip of a lifetime!

Well, Fred is now retired!  At last we can start our second life together. 

 

This morning he woke up at 4:30, just like always.  He sat at the foot of the bed in the dark, staring at the spot where his hip boots used to sit, and I think I heard a few sobs (sorry honey, but it's true!).  I pretended to be asleep for about an hour, then slapped his back and shouted, "who wants hotcakes!"  Soon we were down in the kitchen laughing.  He took a big bite of hot cake and told me that right now Bobby and his crew were raking out the chip ponds without him.  He laughed.  Fred always was afraid of those chip ponds.

 

The big trip starts tonight, and I am so excited. 

 

I am a little worried about this Thrimplekrytee I have been reading about on the web.